| Q: | Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ). |
|---|---|
| A: | We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. |
| Q: | Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA ) |
| A: | Depends how much you've been drinking. |
| Q: | I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden) |
| A: | Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. |
| Q: | Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK ) |
| A: | What did your last slave die of? |
| Q: | Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA ) |
| A: | A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. |
| Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not | |
| ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. | |
| Q: | Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA ) |
| A: | Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. |
| Q: | Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK ) |
| A: | Why? Just use your fingers like we do... |
| Q: | Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK ) |
| A: | You are a British politician, right? |
| Q: | Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) |
| A: | No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. |
| Milk is illegal. | |
| Q: | I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA ) |
| A: | It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. |
| You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. | |
| Q: | Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France ) |
| A: | Only at Christmas. |
